Christmas with family

Believe me or not but in this day snow looked different and the colour of light had different feeling. I was walking to the church, Christmas service, and there were so many nice things I would like to point and be joyful about like a little kid. But there was nobody to share with. My family went to visit some friends. I didn't want to go. Both because there are many things to do as well as because I believe that Christmas should be spend with closest people. My people are here. They should be here.

After the church I went to friends house. And as a surprise I felt just the right Christmas feeling - like in a family. With candle lights and Christmas tree. And different snacks and hot tea. It was so simple - you don't need to do something to earn possibility to be there and enjoy it. It is just because you are almost part of the family.

Bad habbits

It's so not fair that we got used to some people and then there is no possibility to meet them. You miss them and wish they were here. But they are not.

Solution? There rarely is one. You can just hope that some day you will meet after all.

"AT HOME" feeling

I'm still in the same place mentioned on previous post! So you can guess that my earplugs luckily arrived. Anyway, I somehow got used to that noise and so never even used them.

Now it is almost 3 months since I moved in. And today I had so great "AT HOME" feeling!

*It is quite warm in my room because I have an electric heater and I isolated windows so not so much air is circulating.
*Today my neighbour helped to install ceiling lamp - so also the light is much better than usually. I have nice neighbours. It is great that I can spend some of my free time with such people.
*My plant is still alive.
*I have a betta fish. Williams. Still alive.

Will I survive one year here?

I moved recently and have spend in new flat 4 nights. I love that it is spacious and in good condition. I like home-feeling in kitchen. But I hate noise! Windows are on street side and road is with stones so every car that pass by sounds like a tram! Not to mention that there are trams as well...
And cars pass there all the time also in nights! Luckily in nights I'm so tired that I just sleep but in evenings my ears hurts from that sound. Really!

Today I bought earplugs on ebay. Hope I will receive them soon.

But I hope I will adapt somehow and survive here for one year. After that when school finishes I can move somewhere else.

Best week of the year

And again this year - without me.

There is one awesome week in a year when people from Texas are coming to Cesis. They are organizing evangelic basketball camps for children of my city.

I have been to hundreds of camps (ok, to be accurate I could say tens of camps) but this one every week is special. Why? Not so sure. I think it is because that is week when not only I care for others but others really truly care for me. It is awesome to see how lives of many kids are changed. It is miracle to see them coming back to church later on and we can share a bit of this excitement about this camp because we have experienced it and no others can understand it so well.

But it is special in one more way. These are people that helped me to grow in faith when I just started my road. And every time they come back I feel the same excitement because I know - something will change. And it is nice that they don't just disappear. They come back to be a testimony for new kids but also to check on old ones to see how they are doing.

Love them. Love the way God is working through them.

What dreams may come

Surprising or not but you can live only one life and only once. I can't wish great job in centre of big city and home somewhere far away where I could spend days in garden just working there because I enjoy it. I could try commuting but sooner or later I am faced with the fact that there is no time for everything. Even if I live in that paradise house if I have to drive for hours to get to the job every day, it's not working. No time for gardening. Even no time for sleeping. But I am not strong enough also to change job - because it is just perfect and I couldn't find anything like that closer to my home.

So - one life and two dreams. It's not working. Only one dream works and even not always so :) I have to chose. But deep down in heart I understand that I have already chosen. Already long time ago. Otherwise I wouldn't be where I am now. Dreaming about garden and perfect house makes me stronger even if there would pass years till I realize this dream. Dreaming about perfect job and doing something else would ruin me very fast.

Hungry?

Friend is a person that says: "if you are hungry, go to the kitchen, there must be something in the fridge".

But I would still prefer to be served as a guest.

Best ROI

Time to make fiends can differ so much. Sometimes it takes just a moment together and you are friends. Sometimes one evening can be enough. Now after 4 months in school I start feeling quite comfortable again. Not the way it was before but still much better than could be.

Sometimes I think that I have no more energy to meet new people. I already know so many. And it takes both time and energy to make new friends. But then when it suddenly happens joy is a great reward for all investment.

As I heard once - love is a currency that multiplies when you spend it.

Diagnoze

Tukši gaiteņi. Tumši, lampiņas taupības nolūkā nedeg. Grīda tīra, bet nostaigāta. Pie durvīm tā kā takšu zīmītes, tikai uzraksti citi "Ķirurgs", "Traumotologs".. Laiks apstājies. It kā nevienam tas viss vairs nebūtu vajadzīgs. Bet cilvēki nāk. Un arī bez gaismiņām atrod ķirurgu un traumotologu.

Sēžu gaitenī un gaidu.

Un tad viss atdzīvojas. Iedegas gaismiņas, šur tur parādās kāds visnotaļ omulīgs telpaugs. Jasaka gan, ka arī pacientu ir kļuvis vairāk. Ceru, ka ne tāpēc, ka viņiem nelaimējas, bet tāpēc, ka viņi zina, kur meklēt palīdzību. Par ikvienu parūpējas. Tā ir slimnīcas burvība - ka ar savām likstām vairs neesi viens.

Un tad jau pa gaiteni no kreisās puses nāk viņi visi - visi interni ar mapītēm rokās gaiši zilos formas tērpos. Un te vairs nav nomāktības un pamestības. Slimnīcas dzīslās plūst enerģija un entuziasms.

Diagnoze: man skaistas liekas vecas un pamestas lietas. Skaiti ir tas, kā kādreiz tas kādam ir bijis svarīgi un vajadzīgi. Un skaistas ir pat tās skumjas, ka tagad cilvēkiem ir vienalga, ka tagad nav neviena, kas parūpējas par lietām, kas kādam agrāk bija tik svarīgas.

Different perspective

Trolleybus is a kind of spacecraft that only moves very close to the ground.

Kur Tu biji pazudusi?

Viens vienkāršs teikums un tomēr tik jauki to dzirdēt - ka kāds atcerās un ir pamanījis, ka uz kādu laiku biji projām.

Labāk nedomāšu par iemeslu, kāpēc šis jautājums tika uzdots - jo tie varētu būt tik dažādi. Bet tomēr tas ir pavisam kas cits nekā ignorēšana vai neatpazīšana. Lai arī kādi būtu iemesli.

Griffin & Phoenix

It is a really nice film. My friend bought it in discounter store - that is even more surprising.

It is about two people that have cancer and they meet and fall in love.

I love the last seconds of the film - they have painted something on one tower (like Griffin loves Phoenix etc.). And there comes people and paints over it.

They are gone. The work they have done fades away. There are new people and new actions, but they are somewhere not reachable, not visible.