It's good again

I feel tired from sleeping much too less than I should and celebrating Christmas with so many friends and relatives. But it feels nice. These days have been totally different from everyday life (and sometimes I think that I will be happy when "normal" life starts again - I'm not so tired then).

Only some days left till 2009! :)

Christmas emptiness

It was a nice day, but... I'm a little bit sad because this Christmas miss something very important this year. Maybe that is because of expectations. If I expect that our family, we will be together and have fun time. And even if we are together it's not so fun anyway. If I expect that I will be home with family in the New year celebrations but now it seems that they are going away. And I am left alone. And the worst thing about all of this - it is just the way I am used to do - to leave them during holidays. But now - the first year I would really appreciate being together I'm alone.

Anyway, it's not so bad as it could seem. Maybe it would be much nicer tomorrow when relatives and friends will come for celebration. And maybe I'll go to New Year youth camp...

And I hope I will have a chance to go to church tomorrow. I really need it. Christmas without Christ - it's the worst thing that could happen.

Cilvēki

Šodien satiku dažus cilvēkus, ko nebiju redzējusi gandrīz gadu. Un tik un tā viņi mīļi sveicinās, aprunājas. Tas liek man, ciemojoties viņu draudzē justies kā gaidītai. Paldies Oļeg, Aivar, Tabita.

Sorrow

This evening I'm chased by that inexplicable sorrow and alert that comes when you know you will have to do something you don't want to.

Like the evening before visiting dentist.

Or the evening before meeting an angry teacher that would say you have done something wrong.

Or the evening you before the performance you have to participate as a character you would really appreciate not to mimic.

Week without PC

One week (to be correct, 5 days) with no computer at home! Is it possible? Yes, but hard.

- no email checking at home, no online games
- no possibility just to check some information (how to make sorrel soup? What weather there will be tomorrow? What time a movie in cinema begins?)
- no possibility to watch movies on computer (or listen to music)
- no translating (like free time activity)
- no access to the internet bank

But instead

I went to cinema... Twice...
I went shopping (now I at last have salt-shaker and some new pieces of clothing)
I made a semolina pudding (and called mom to check the recipe instead looking it up on Internet)
I was reading a book

and believe it or not

I cleaned my room!

Letter from myself in past

Last year on 31st of December I wrote a letter for myself. I received it recently (by post, of course. Don't ask how!).

What I can see is how wonderful God has worked in my life. I had a feeling that He would. I trusted it, but had now idea how it will happen.

I left a well paid job. And later I left another job that was how I write there 'almost my dream job'. I left studies. And hobby. And family. I left my old life and my country to be an intern in Poland for 7 months. That was something not many people understood - how can I leave almost perfect life and risk to have nothing when I return.

Yeah, I have lost some things that were valuable to me. But it was precious experience, something I was dreaming to do for almost 5 years. Something I thought was the right choice.

Now I have returned.

I have a job. Not the one that was 'almost perfect'. Now I have the one that IS perfect. I will return to studies on February (hope, everything will be OK). And step by step I can get my old life back. Only in a new, much higher quality.

Like that tree I wrote a long time ago. Why can't a tree be blue? Forget it...

Just following dreams is the best we can do. Usually.

P.S. in that letter I mention this blog to myself. Yeah, I'm not here often. But maybe I will.

Language

I just can't decide, which language should I post. Taking into account that the main (affraid that the only :) ) reader of this blog is myself, then it's not really a problem, I can chose any I want.

So sorry, if anything. I love writing in English.